Dwelling is defined as ”to think about something for a long time.” Simple enough. But why isn’t it so simple to stop thinking about that something, or a lot of somethings? Usually those something’s have a social component…a stressful situation with a person, or different people. We worry ”how we acted won’t be accepted by others.”…”we feel ashamed of our actions…and then we worry some more. The more shame we feel, the more likely we are to worry.”
“Shame also appears to be linked to dwelling and negative thoughts. Shame occurs when we fail to achieve our goals….feelings of shame…not achieving what others have, not being good enough, can cause us to overthink things and become stuck in negative thoughts of past failures.”
“Dwelling and persistent negative thinking are linked to social anxiety, symptoms of depression…”-psychcentral.com. 10/25/12.
It is a conscious decision that people make, to stay stuck in the past, thus immobilizing us, with our painful feelings and memories, and prevents us from moving forward.-healthline.com. 8/31/18.
Dwelling on past mistakes keeps us in a perpetual state of reliving life’s negatives, over and over again. This can lead to physical, mental, and emotional changes in your health.
This keeps us from achieving the goals we set for ourselves and becoming the best person we can be.-inc.com.
Dwelling re-triggers emotions of shame, sadness, anger, over and over. In your brain, there’s no difference of experiencing the negative situation for the very first time and thinking about it chronically afterwards; ”and when those negative emotions are elevated on a chronic basis, that’s stress.”-inc.com.
Conclusion: Making mistakes in life is part of our human experience. No one is perfect. Everyone strives for perfection, but life’s journey takes all of us down different roads, whether we choose that road or it’s thrust upon us. Dwelling is an indication that we do want to improve ourselves, but we’re not sure how to move forward from the past.
Before developing a strategy of moving forward, it makes life easier if a person compartmentalizes the things they’re dwelling about. Basically, mentally separating the dwelling thoughts, putting them in a box and putting that box on a very high shelf.
Compartmentalization is a natural defense mechanism of the brain.-dictionary.apa.org. It’s a strategy whereby people naturally protect themselves from anxious thoughts or feelings. The concept of defense mechanisms of the brain was developed by Sigmund Freud and his daughter Anna Freud. Psychologists believe defense mechanisms are valid.-Psychologytoday.com.
Keep moving forward and don’t look back. As a result of all the dwelling, you have analyzed, learned, processed, every single angle as to why things went wrong. You’ve learned as much as humanly possible and you won’t learn anything else or anything new.
Simon Weston stated: ” If you constantly dwell on the past, that’s where you end up living.” / Done
My goodness. Was this written for me to learn by? If so you’ve given me much food for thought and then naught! Thank you my friend 😊