46.4% of all Federal Inmates, as of March 20,2021, are in jail due to drug offenses. Almost half the Federal prison population. -bop.gov.
“Addiction has been named as cancer that eats away the soul of the addict.”-coaching-online.org. The causes often “can be traced back to certain painful childhood experiences caused by bad parenting. These experiences are often physical and/ or emotional abuse. “Dr. Gabor Mate, a famous Canadian Physician specialist in addiction states: “The wound may not seem very deep and the pain is not unbearable-maybe the injury is even completely hidden-but it’s there.” He states: “Eventually, those who feel the pain will try to escape it.”
”Not everyone who has had a painful childhood experience will develop an addiction.” …”However, there are experiences in childhood, caused by bad parenting, that have led to dependency or addiction. If we as parents are aware that certain parenting methods can cause harm, it could be avoided early on.”
“Only a few children get to be loved unconditionally by their parents. Yet, this is what Dr. Mate considers the foundation of a happy childhood.”-coaching-online.org. Prof. Gerald Huether states: “A child has to feel that it is right the way it is. That it is loved for its own sake and unconditionally. This is the most important experience every child needs.” …It’s unfortunate that many children “feel their parents would love them more if their grades were better, or they become more kind or helpful…children are happier when they do not feel they have to make an effort so their parents can love them.”…It is very common to see parents, as well as educators, showering more love and affection to children when they behave the way they expect them to behave. While most people do not know, this behavior may seem like an encouraging thing to do, could prove very damning and hurtful.”-coaching-online.org.
“Children are naturally wired to be dependent on the affection of their parents. It may become a big problem if and when they begin to feel that this love is not unconditional.” Prof. Huether states: “When children are made the object of their parents expectations, goals, etc., this bond then becomes threatened. This, comes along with very big pain.”…”While some people will spend the rest of their lives making efforts at being loved and accepted, some turn to the use of analgesic substances to heal this pain caused by bad parenting.”
Growing up, it’s extremely important for a child to develop, naturally, a sense of courageousness and fearlessness. If these traits do not develop fully, the chances increase for that person to turn to drugs to lower anxiety. Children must be given the chance and allowed to fall. They have to play unattended and even put themselves in danger to an extent, to understand their own boundaries.”
Prof. Huether states: “No child can learn how to get up if it never falls. No child can learn to walk when the stones are cleared away.”…being too protective is bad parenting and would lead to uncertainty even when parents feel they are doing their child a favor.”-coaching-online.org.
“From his years working with addicts, Eckhard Schiffer “found that boredom may lead to dependency later in life. Many patients resort to using narcotics to escape an inner void and emptiness.” Shiffer explains “this emptiness and boredom come from the lack of imagination which in turn is caused by a lack of free play during childhood.” Parents who do not interfere with a child’s free play, will not feel bored as the child gets older and will always find new ways to keep occupied.
“Creativity helps children all through their lives to find answers to complex problems. They’d be able to think outside the box since their imagination would not be restricted by others. They’ll be protected from the boredom and emptiness that sets the stage for addiction.” …”Children are taught from Kindergarten that only the ones who work hard can be successful, and that only successful ones, can be happy.”
36% of parents are willing to give their 10 year old children, drugs to improve their concentration.”…However,…the highest proportion of drug use on a regular basis, was among the good students.”…Children’s performances to each other, is dominated by competition and market value.” …”Those people who fail to live up to expectations, often try to blend in to create that false sense of self so as not to be excluded. Unfortunately, this is addictive because of the lack of inner peace.”
“The resulting stress, as well as the constant pursuit of ever-eluding success and happiness, poisons the soul, much more for children as it does for adults. While it may appear unnoticeable, this feeling of not being good enough causes great pain.”…”Children who are prevented from deciding for themselves, are unable to discover and experience their environment, unable to follow their own interests at their own pace. This leads to a loss of attachment.”
“Parents should understand that children need more open spaces and freedom than just good grades.”…Children need to be given enough space for adventure and self-development; also be given the chance to fail.”-coaching-online.org.
Conclusion: Our society is consumed with parents molding their children in a certain way. Good grades equals more love and affection. Unconditional love should be the ultimate goal of every parent. Allowing a child to think freely, play freely, take chances and risks, fail on their own; but still be forgiving, loving, kind and understanding when that child needs you. A parent putting social pressures and creating conditions for giving love, creates a child who will be dealing with these issues internally, for the rest of their lives. Many will turn to drugs, to numb the mental pain, anguish that creeps up on them, and consumes their thoughts. / Done
