“The chronic behavior of compulsive or habitual lying…a pathological liar seems to lie for no apparent reason. It can be “frustrating or hard to know what to do if you believe you’ve met one…there’s not yet a clear universal definition of the condition…their lies seem to be told in order to make the pathological liar appear the hero, or to gain acceptance or sympathy, while there’s seemingly nothing to be gained from other lies….
“Pathological liars are great storytellers. Their lies tend to be very detailed and colorful…and may be very convincing…they sometimes believe their own lies…they’re creative and original, quick thinkers who don’t usually show common signs of lying, such as long pauses or avoidance of eye contact…they may speak a lot without ever being specific or answering the question.”-healthline.com. 8/27/18.
”Often times, lying becomes part of that person’s everyday life, and telling a lie feels more natural than telling the truth.”-talkspace.com. 11/15/20. Pathological liars exist in a fantasy world, where they “tell complex stories where delusions seemed to coexist with lies.”-talkspace.com. 11/15/20.
“Pathological liars get extremely angry when confronted with proof of their falsehoods…”they find it more comforting to lie than tell the truth.”…Pathological liars…have no remorse for their lies…they are more concerned with the internal gratification they feel than the the threat of being revealed as untrustworthy.”-betterhelp.com. 9/18/20.
”Pathological liars are known to “study” the person they hope to take advantage of. In other words, they look for weaknesses….they lack empathy. As hard as it is to believe, it is true. The liar does not have any moral consciousness of how the lying behavior may make you feel…the liar does not care anything about your feelings and never will.”-psychcentral.com. 9/9/14.
“The lies develop early in life, often in response to difficult situations at school or in the home. They are not intending to be manipulative, but develop it as a bad habit…Pathological liars usually start telling small lies during childhood and become comfortable in telling these lies, especially if they get away with it and feel their lies are not harmful….as they grow older into adulthood, they learn to tell bigger detailed lies that may start to turn more harmful…to spot one, “if they do not have many friends , it may be a reason.”-confessionsoftheprofessions.com.
“Living with a pathological liar is very challenging for the liar’s significant other, family members, friends, and co-workers….Loving a pathological liar can also mean never feeling secure and knowing that your relationship may be built on a foundation of deceit. People involved with them need to establish boundaries for their own mental health care and mental well-being….being in a relationship with a liar can feel very lonely and isolating, but it doesn’t have to be. A lot of support is available for you if you seek it.”-betterhelp.com. 9/18/20.
“How to cope with a pathological liar:” •Don’t lose your temper; be supportive and kind, but firm.” •Expect denial…they may become enraged and express shock at the accusation.” •Remember, it’s not about you. It’s hard not to take being lied to personally, but pathological lying isn’t about you. The person may be driven by an underlying personality disorder, anxiety or low self-esteem.” •Be supportive. Remind them that they don’t need to try to impress you.” •Don’t engage them. You can let them know that you don’t want to continue the conversation when they’re being dishonest.” •Without judgment or shaming, suggest that they consider professional help and let them know your suggestion comes from genuine concern for their well-being.” -healthline.com. 8/27/18.
Conclusion: To a normal person, recognizing and dealing with a pathological liar is incredibly, mentally draining. Hopefully, this description makes it easier for “the normals” to recognize and how to deal with such a psychologically abnormal person. As stated: “it’s not about you.” One can be very hard on themselves, trying to first cope, then try to correct or educate the pathological liar, when it seems like all we can do personally is recognize it, understand it and mentally deal with it. / Done
